omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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