I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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