this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
