Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If I die, sorry about rent.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
