Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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