I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
