Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
