I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
