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She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
