Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
