I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
