I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
