Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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