i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
