Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
