I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
