what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
