I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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