weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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