You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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