She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
