with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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