Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
