I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
