And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
