i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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