Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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