I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
