your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
