Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
