Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My nipple is on Facebook.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
