just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
