they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
