Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
