The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
