Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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