There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
