I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
