for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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