$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
