I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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