you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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