Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
