Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
