He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
