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this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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