Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
