Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
