Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
