:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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