I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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